EAST COAST OH-SEVEN/EIGHT DECLARATIONS
TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION that I like myself more than ever, but there’s still a lot of work to do. TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION that just because I didn’t go down one path doesn’t mean it’s closed to me forever. TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION that I bring what I bring (since It Is What It Is retired last night).
I AM BEING what it could be. I AM BEING a pen hovering over a page in a book titled Dream Big in purple. I AM BEING adventure looking out a Chinatown bus window at the New York skyline fading past.
I AM RELEASING everything I realized about regret last decade. I AM RELEASING how challenging it is to write a poem with an embedded secret. I AM RELEASING the need to be so complicated.
I AM CREATING the intention to call forth the energies I need in my life. I AM CREATING necessary love for myself to survive and thrive. I AM CREATING love from many different sources, but for myself first.
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY LIFE is that last night, I searched for the heart of poems with people I love. I LOVE how late night stories from my cousins can make my dad, brother and I share laughter. I LOVE the intimacy and wildness of the good house party. I LOVE the return of late night phone chats with Aimee. I LOVE that I spent most of my money on good food and hot chocolate on the East Coast. I LOVE winter hotpot with my family. I LOVE hearing an interpretation of my past that makes me evaluate. I LOVE how a 3 minute conversation with Mars feels like 8 hours and that I got 2 “I am accessible” messages, letting me know he did not fall off the face of the earth forever. I LOVE how copying over a poem means inevitably it gets better. I LOVE that I see certain Californians only in NYC. I LOVE a late-night subway rendez-vous inflected by honeywine. I LOVE that the poem can be a source of the divine. I LOVE public transit. I LOVE drinking South African liquor that tastes like a kickin’ chocolate milk with Wendy and Eman. I LOVE that I psyched myself out for a freeze, but it’s warmer than I thought. I LOVE how the word ‘you’ can be so specific yet somewhat vague. I LOVE everything I might do this year. I LOVE that I’m planning on embracing my 3rd decade. I LOVE that I am not disappointed — everything fit into the palm of three weeks. I LOVE being the out-of-town guest who gathers people together. I LOVE sleeping without an alarm clock. I LOVE the No Big Deal approach to life. I LOVE homemade pancakes and lengthy afternoon talks with Saara. I LOVE being a connoisseur of the Japanese cream puff. I LOVE re-awakened erotic power. I LOVE bringing the good Dominican rum and soju.
I CELEBRATE AND NURTURE MY EXISTENCE as the cusp of transition, an open door, my next poem.
